How to Develop Character in Your Children (and Yourself) Through Travel

For many, many people, travel has a special lure, attraction, enchantment that calls to them, beckoning from far off lands. It’s idealized by the image of a lone backpacker traversing Europe, Asia or South America, sleeping in hostels and hitchhiking if necessary.

It’s long been thought of as an activity that can’t be done with a family, especially small children; it was a choice you had to make – travel, or start a family, but not both.

However, there is a rise in the number of families who are making travel a reality, with infants and older, and they’re doing it deliberately as a way to educate, expand, and inform their children in ways that are not possible by staying at home.

Are these parents crazy? Although they’ve been asked this question many times, the reality is that they simply realize the tremendous benefits of personal growth and character development, not to mention adventure and fun, available from family travel.

So how do you use your family vacation to develop virtue? Here are a few ideas to get you thinking.

Get Uncomfortable

Although difficult for most people to do for themselves, let alone to purposefully inflict on their children, being uncomfortable actually means that you are experiencing growth.

Instead of planning the usual, touristy trip, try something new, and well… a little uncomfortable. Think about visiting someplace you might not have considered before, a location that is a bit out of your comfort zone – South America instead of Europe, Dominica instead of Disneyland.

The first time I ever traveled outside of the United States was when I was in my early twenties. My family had taken a vacation to San Diego, and we spent a day visiting Tijuana, Mexico.

During the initial half hour of our visit, I felt literally sick to my stomach. I hated it, I just wanted to run away. I had no real-life concept of the kinds of conditions that others lived in throughout the world, and when I came face to face to it, I was extremely uneasy.

Yet that trip has stayed with me. It planted a seed that has grown more with each journey, and has given me a huge heart for humanitarian work, and a desire to relieve suffering worldwide.

Extend the Stay

If you want to visit a place that you hope will have an impact on your kids, its more likely to happen on an extended trip, rather than just a weekend jaunt.

The longer the trip, the more time to experience the true nature of the place you’re visiting. You’ll have more occasions to immerse yourself (and your children) into the culture and customs.

While staying in Las Galeras, Dominican Republic we lived near an all-inclusive resort. Every few days there would be a new group of tourists arriving to enjoy their week of relaxation, and scheduled tourist trips.

In contrast, we were there day after day, week after week. We would walk to the beach, hike on trails, explore the area, visit remote beaches, learn the language, develop diverse friendships, and enjoy the changing weather conditions.

I marveled at how much more our extended visit allowed us to really absorb the ‘feel’ of the place, and I realized that it could not have been done on a week long vacation.

Consider a summer touring South America, or a semester studying abroad. The added time away from home will only expand budding realities.

Get Grateful

There’s nothing that develops gratitude as fast as coming face to face with humble circumstances. Are your kids feeling a bit of entitlement? Are they not seeing the bigger picture? Getting up close and personal with poverty can check that attitude real quick.

Despite the stigma of being unsafe, our experience has proven that visiting the ‘local’ areas can provide some of the best encounters for getting a good look at what you (and your children) have been blessed to enjoy.

While living in Costa Rica, we went to visit the home of our maid. She had a large family of seven children and two grandchildren – all of whom lived in her very humble, three ‘room’ (and three bed) home of cement, wood and corrugated tin which she had built with her own two hands.

She made us (very delicious) soup, with her limited food supply, that she prepared over an open fire. Her family allowed our family to eat first because there weren’t enough dishes and utensils for everyone.

You can’t help but feel gratitude for everything that you have when you are in a situation like that. It’s kind of like ‘shock’ treatment, bringing you back to a grateful realization of your life as it ‘really’ is.

Of course you don’t want to walk around a local area at night with all your bling and a haughty (or fearful, which is just as offensive) attitude, but you do want to get out of your comfort zone. Go shopping at the ‘local’ store, take a walk into that ‘local’ neighborhood.

If you do it with humility and an open mind, you’ll probably find very friendly people who will welcome you into their hearts and (very humble) homes, expanding your definition of poverty and wealth along the way.

Start ‘Em Young

Stop the stigma that traveling can only be done by the single, wealthy or vagabonds. Travel can be (and is becoming) a family activity that can be done even with very small children.

Our first trip abroad as a family began when we drove from Utah to Costa Rica with our children who were 4, 3, 1 and 2 months. It was one of the greatest experiences of our lives.

We visited beautiful beaches, ancient ruins, crocodile refuges, jungle rivers. The most amazing part of it is that we actually did it. The original belief was that it couldn’t be done- too unsafe, and too much time in a car with kids- limits that were actually only in our mind. We crossed borders, not just politically, but philosophically as we widened our belief about what was possible for us to accomplish.

‘Will they remember it?’ is the question most people will ask when they consider the expense of a trip with small children. For us, we’re not concerned with whether they remember every trip, but with the paradigm that is being developed in their young minds by introducing them to the experience. They grow up believing that the ‘impossible’ is possible.

It does require flexibility and finesse to travel with little ones, but it can be done, and improved upon, with practice. There are plenty of ‘safe’ spots to see and it’s definitely worth the effort if traveling is on the agenda for your children’s education.

Give Back

Finding an opportunity to participate in humanitarian work while on a family trip provides moving experiences that bond, build character, and create lasting memories.

While living in the Dominican Republic we took the opportunity to outfit an outlying school with children’s books, visit orphanages and connect with other visiting volunteers, all of which provided memorable family experiences and created lasting friendships for ourselves and our children.

A few weeks before we were leaving the country, we still had some books we needed to give away. My seven-year-old daughter single handedly (and on her own initiative) passed out 50+ books to neighbors and friends in the area, who were more than eager to receive her gifts.

It doesn’t matter where you go, if you look for it, there’s an opportunity to contribute in some small (or large) way. Whether you donate books to a local library (or start one), visit an orphanage, dig a well or build a greenhouse, contributing to another culture develops hard work, compassion, empathy, gratitude, contribution, open-mindedness, tolerance.

Travel can be a very rewarding, as well as character developing experience, for the entire family, if you take advantage of the opportunity. Consider how you can make your next trip into a time for personal growth.

Read about author Rachel Denning and check out her other BootsnAll articles.

All photos by Rachel Denning

Alta, Utah – The Comfort of Familiar Places

It’s not always about the new destination; it’s the comfort of familiar places

Last winter, the big fireside talk at the infamous Chateau Apres Lodge in Park City was Alta.  Skiers say it’s the place to go for deep powder.  If Deer Valley is the venue for those with deep pockets, Alta is for the ski purists because snow is the only thing there and skiing is the only thing to do.

It’s only September and I haven’t even finished my last race of the season, but I’m already filled with excitement about winter (I skipped autumn) and the skiing possibilities.  I’ve already booked my air and hotel, so I’m good to go for my Christmas ski holiday.

But this trip is more than a birthday and Christmas gift to myself; it’s a time to reflect upon the year’s race season and a time to take a break and simply play (without any odometers, lap counting, fueling, speed training or racing).  This trip is necessary as brushing one’s teeth; it’s a preventive measure.

How do you feel about your racing season?  For me, it meant surpassing bike accidents and learning to keep going and re-defining my race goals a week before the race, being honest with myself about my true abilities, not making any race all encompassing and bigger than others and learning how to be less self-critical while learning from mistakes.

I’ve learned that racing is a very personal journey, as in many of life’s pursuits.  As one grows from the novice level, improvement comes with each season.  Each season has a theme, a feel that enables you to look back at each racing season and be objective, true and kind to yourself.  As a novice skier, while I have yet to learn how to properly tackle the moguls, deep powder and all mountain terrain, I already have an idea of what I want for next year’s races. I want to qualify for the Boston Marathon and my local bike club’s A-level spring training program, which means I have to work on speed on foot and on the bike.

But I’m not type A by any means; I pride myself on being more grounded, so I look to the year-end after I finish all the year’s races as a time to retreat.  Do you have such a place that you escape and retreat to? If not, you owe it to yourself to find your own personal haven.  It could be a wellness spa that you go to once a year, a weekend program at your yoga center, the woods behind your home, but it’s a place that you can call home, that evokes the feelings of comfort and security.

Such a place for me are the mountains of Alta during the winter.  While my ambitious side would prefer to leave no mountain range unexplored and no vantage point unviewed, the vast landscape makes that goal impossible to meet even if I decide to move to this old mining town.

I’ve learned that skiers return to Alta because it provides the comfort of home – warmth, connection, the inviting mountain and nature all around that makes you think you’ve found solace.  Families congregate like clockwork at the hotel lounges and they know to line up early in the morning to get their desired dinner reservation time. Their children have grown up skiing at Alta and only have holiday recollections at their particular hotel.  As strangers sharing the lift, one of the first questions tends to be, “Which hotel are you staying at?”  And each skier is almost always a devotee to his/her hotel.

Since I carry my digital camera everywhere, I’ve had to stop a few times to try to capture the post card scenery of greenery peppered with real, wild, pure white powder. I’ve learned that expert, adventurous and even not-so-smart skiers love to discover new trails and go off-piste.

I am an avid solo female traveler who tends to seek others, yet I also revel in my own company. I rise early and am on line as the lift opens.  I carb-up during lunch and waste no time so I can head out for the next half of my ski day.  Sometimes I’ll stop along the mountain to catch my breath, take a break or more likely, to figure out the curves I will make to get to the bottom of a challenging slope.   While I’m familiar with the main trails of this mountain, the variable snow and weather ensure that each familiar run never feels the same. Although I’ve never felt alone and was never one to return to the same destination, I have found the comfort, safety and security of returning to this familiar place.

There are lessons and tricks I’ve learned through my travels.  As a runner, I never leave home without my running shoes.  They’re a security blanket for me because I know I can work out whenever I want to, and in my travels I’ve discovered a certain beauty to early morning explorations.  Some of my fondest running explorations include the Sahara desert and Christchurch, New Zealand (I discovered the Cadbury factory where I scored some free chocolates to take back to my roommate at the hotel).  I always carry a water bottle with me when I travel to remind myself that I constantly need to drink.  Since I’m all about traveling light, my travel clothes are those that I hardly wear at home.  I wear them during my trip and donate them to the hotel after use.

My travel tradition has always been to spend my last day alone to let it all soak in.  On my last day at Alta, I let myself be guided as I glided over all the fluffy snow underneath.  I was surrounded by snow-capped peak mountains, the native trees and my heart lightened.  I knew this is how it’s supposed to feel; I knew this is how I’m supposed to feel.

USA: Country Inns & Suites by Carlson - Family Road Trip Survival Itineraries. Country Inns & Suites by Carlson has taken the trouble out of last-minute summer vacation planning for time-crunched moms and their families by introducing its “Road Trip Survival Itineraries” which cover planning factors like distance, cost and family-friendly stops along the way.

Hit the Road Country.  The trip plans range from 2-, 4-, and 7-days. Each itinerary provides background information and driving time to historic, educational, nature and other fun-filled and budget-friendly attractions of interest to kids and parents alike. The itineraries include a mix of locally and nationally known attractions, notable family-owned restaurants and other relatively undiscovered venues known to employees of Country Inns & Suites’ 480 local properties.

The themed itineraries explore five regions of the United States.   Each itinerary features three two-day legs that can be taken separately or combined for a longer trip. 
•    Founding Fathers Country treks through North Carolina, Virginia and Maryland.
•    Binoculars Country ventures through upstate New York.
•    Streams & Shores Country winds through Wisconsin and Minnesota.
•    Peaks & Valleys Country journeys across Montana, Utah and Idaho.
•    Ocean Drive Country follows the coastline of Southern California.

Additionally, Country Inn & Suites has created a new “Mom’s Choice” designation for top attractions in each itinerary based on factors such as family fun, price and mom approval.   All venues were identified and voted upon by the company’s panel of family travel experts.

Top attractions receiving the “Mom’s Choice” rating include: The Smithsonian, Washington, D.C.; Robert H. Treman State Park, Ithaca, NY; Barnum’s Circus World Museum, Baraboo, WI, Minnehaha Falls at Minnehaha Park, Minneapolis, MN; Roaring Springs Water Park, Meridian, IN; Oceanside Pier, Port Hueneme, CA; Santa Barbara Shellfish Company, Santa Barbara, CA.  Visit ‘Hit the Road Country’ (www.countryinns.com/roadtrip) for more information.

Here’s the deal. The “Sweet Deal ” promotion provides 15 percent off each night of a stay of two or more consecutive nights in a standard room and a valuable offer from T.G.I. Friday’s restaurants - Buy One Entr?e, Get One Entr?e OR Half Off Appetizer with the purchase of an Entr?e - when staying at locations in the United States . The offer, which requires a three day advance reservation, is available now through Sept. 13, 2009 at participating hotels. Visit www.countryinns.com/summer2009 for more information.

Plan a roadtrip with Carlson. I like these guys because they make it easy to put  a family vacation plan together. In the last two years I have stayed in more than a dozen Country Inns with my family. In my opinion Country Inns & Suites makes an excellent family vacation base almost anywhere. The standards for efficiency, friendliness and cleanliness remain consistently high. You’ll find apples at the desk in the afternoon and sometimes fresh cookies. At each property there is always Read and Return a lending library for guests – both adults and children. The complimentary breakfast offering usually includes a waffle machine to make luscious fresh waffles, fresh fruit, yogurt, bagels, muffins, and cereal choices. I have never encountered a pool closed or exercise equipment broken an dthe internet connection never failed. Bonus points: One obvious advantage for families traveling with young children – the location may change but the atmosphere and floor plans are very similar so it is easier for a child to feel comfortable. The same is true if you are traveling with an elderly family member. Keeping things the same is a huge benefit to relieving the stress of travel. For kids and teens the benefit of TGI Fridays is obvious.

Stay with someone who cares. Even a simple roadtrip can be stressful so knowing what to expect at the end of a day is one way to ease the tension. Country Inns & Suites offer not just space and amenities but hospitality something often missing in the travel industry. I found a personal level of caring obvious at each of the places we stayed.  In Annapolis, MD we received an invaluable tip for a local Mexican – best food on our vacation. In North Little Rock, AR my daughter left her IPod and charger – one call and it was sent to us the same day. The daily cookies at the Country Inn in Hampton gave us energy to go out again to shop for more bargains. In Berkley, WV the helpful front desk manager found a locksmith after hours. Need to know: There is only one exception Hot Springs, Arkansas. The building looks like a Country Inn however that is where the similarity ends. The Inn did not fit the helpful, clean, efficient, caring, family friendly atmosphere that is definitely the standard for the chain. Obviously they did not get the memo but I am sure by now there has been improvement. 

About Country Inns & Suites By CarlsonSM. Country Inns & Suites is part of Carlson Hotels Worldwide, a leading global hotel company with more than 1,030 locations in 72 countries under the brands of Regent® Hotels & Resorts; Radisson® Hotels & Resorts; Park Plaza® Hotels & Resorts; Country Inns & Suites By CarlsonSM; and Park Inn®. The hotels offer many upgraded amenities including complimentary breakfast, in-room hair dryer, coffee maker, iron and ironing board, and weekday morning newspaper. The brand is known for its consistently high quality accommodations and personal, warm hospitality.