London’s Market Madness
Posted October 17, 2009 , trackbackAs some kinda twisted stroke of luck would have it, turns out that all this time I’ve been disdaining large public gatherings of people and especially in those unseemly dives round London, I’d been sitting on some kinda gold. Got the word on the intramanet that these things called markets, and London – well, it’s the hot spot that gots the lot.
London’s Columbia Road flower market
Now, I’m not like some kinda roving cheap taco joint with a bad kitchen hygiene policy that’s wiling to spill the beans anywhere, anytime, no mate. I’m all sewn up with the truth bagged inside and well, that was where it was going to stay, with my good selfy-self self (sorry feeling a bit childish there, haven’t had my piece of organic 70% cocoa dark chocolate today).
London’s markets, like a Christmas tree at a power station
But anyway, just the other day I saw something that broke my little blackened stone heart, a person, with no map, and a keen fashion sense now you come to mention it, wandering about, clearly in need of somaething to purchase, in an outdoor setting – and you know what? Theys were looking (sniff) Lost. Brought a tear to my little sun-cracked eye it did, all hardened by the coming and going of highways and outback byways, the endless nights alone, without a copy of the Financial Times, Afternoon edition, for a blanket.
Anyway, sorry Miss Jane, back from my little red-dirt spacewalk… Yeah, so I pulled out my mohair/llama poncho, whipped up a quick lo-fat frappachino and took their little sad hand and led them down to the first little Sunday market we came across. You should have seen their sweet little Japanese-cartoon-Manga-oversized eyes light up, like a Christmas tree at a power station.
So rather than keep up this pose of having a stone-hardened exterior, I thought, dear reader, I would take you too by the beret-wearing hand, and lead you merrily down the garden path to London market happiness. Hold your friends hand too, now there, and no wandering off…
London market trifecta
Rather than the slow lead-in with a mighty peak mid-story, just like in “Deliverance”, I thought we’d start at full-speed white-noise market intensity and see where it goes from there. The London mega-trifecta was what I had in mind: Columbia Rd Flower Markets, Brick Lane Sunday Markets and segue straight to Spitalfields, no chaser.
Synopsis: this is like Berlin’s Mauerpark Sunday Markets and Darwin’s Mindil Beach Sunset Markets (thought I would chuck in the random tropical reference as it boosts my urban appeal) combined. All that but like with the front lowered, the back jacked up and the stereo up loud, maybe with a miniature dog and a bit of “-on-crack” (the drug not the amply visible backside variety) thrown In for good measure (except possibly “miniature dog-on-crack” cos someone might get hurt or lose an ankle or something like that).
If you’re making your way down from Hackney, Shoreditch or Dalston, then the first, Columbia Rd, is best left for last, for reasons that will become more obvious in a bit, so cut round the back and make for the shambolic Brick Lane Sunday experience.
Brick Lane Market
This is the ideal place for the discerning shopper who can’t decide if they want quality or some piece of crud that some other fella doesn’t want cos its squeezing something else out of their burgeoning pointy shoe collection. Some are so confident of the quality of their merchandise that they don’t even put a white sheet under the stuff in case a policeman comes round the corner and they need to run away, cos you can then tell that this stuff is staying put on the footpath until it’s all sold, sold, sold.
Brick Lane, pret a porter
The diversity of oddness is half the appeal, slipping down a crowded street with fashionable cafes as a back drop, beigel (should that be bagel or beagle?) shops that sell smoked salmon and creamed cheese numbers for £1.30 (and a pasty for just 75p) – the cheapest snack you will see round here. There’s the odd diamond in the rough, a classic piece of design something or other, a record you can’t live without, something not-so-old but stylish but not priced as an antique, give it a go and enjoy the charm.
If you feel like queuing you can get into the Vintage Markets, too. The buskers here will probably have you in stitches, my highlight was the fella with the tiny amp and Hendrix-style Fender electric guitar with a snare/hi-hat on the right foot pedal and the tiny bassdrum on the left – havin’ a bit of trouble doing the playing and two foot drumming at the same time but full marks for balls-out Rock’n.
After you’ve headed down the ambling Brick Lane barrel of surprises and you’ll come out round Hard Wax, a totally serious old-style record shop – this is The Place to get that piece of vinyl you have been dribbling over or hard to find on import – the staff are friendly, know a truckload about music and they have got Loads of Stuff.
Out the door and then comes the grand challenge - first the outdoor section of this ‘n’ that food to eat, like a best- of of all the outdoor market fare world over, and then the indoor Spitalfields. Even if the possibility of working up to having a busy Sunday in London feels as easy for you as swimming against the weekly tide, then this is quietly one of the most intensively fast laid-back Sunday experiences you’ll get – a hundred different sets of speakers playing 20 types of drum ‘n’ bass, raga, reggae, and a verisimilitude of stuffness, all accompanied by shirts, clothes, bags, every kind of food you can imagine and a bunch of stuff more that wouldn’t fit into your head on a Sunday.
One guitar, two feet, three markets
For the short-sighted it’s a cavalcade of close-up delights that’ll have you head slowly swiveling all the way through. When you’re done, out past the food and back onto Brick Lane and up for some flowers.
Columbia Road Flower Market
If you’ve timed it right you’ll be getting up to Columbia Road round 2 or 3pm, the slightly tired fellas’ll be shouting “£6 for 1 or 2 for £10″ as you approach and you’ll know things are warming-up in the get-a-cheap-buncha-flowers stakes. As you work your way through the riot of colour the prices will start a droppin and the flowers will be ready for your shopping, the later it gets the prices will halve at least once and then maybe again. Its not eBay so get em while they’re hot, don’t wait til they wilt and then you’re set to get em home still smelling like a dream for the week.
For those with more power to ride, head round toward London Fields for the Broadway Markets – quite different and a bit more classy and spacious than Brick Lane or Spittafield - more the style of an open air deli. Mainly food and with the odd rack of vintage gear, you can get your organic half-latte megaccino with a twist of chorizo just in time to wake up and head down to London Fields for a beer, procured from the local off license, while you sit in the sun.
The range of drinkin’ the sun possibilities are pretty good as a matter of fact, and you could probably spare a pound or two for an organic cider for your decaffeinated miniature dachshund-cross-corgi, giving you more time to dodge the outdoor interpretative tai-chi classes or kids on new bikes that are so hot they practically scream “just stolen”. Enjoy the weekend and for a cheap price you can fall of the back off your own personal truck, and that’s no lie.
-Jack Brown
Planning a trip? Browse Viator’s London tours & things to do in London, including Weekend market & shopping tours.
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